College Student-Athletes: A Modest Proposal

Every championship tournament of the National Collegiate Athletic Association shall consist of:

1) On-field competition in the respective sports. They will be organized and seeded in the usual ways and will proceed through as many rounds as necessary to determine the national champion.

2) In-studio competition among all of the teams that have qualified for the on-field competition. The in-studio competition will be in the format of the “College Bowl” television shows. Initial matchups will be identical to those in the on-field competition. The teams will proceed through as many rounds as necessary to determine the national champion.

Paul Bryant and Allen Ludden, giants of the gridiron and television studio, respectively. The Bryant-Ludden Trophy, emblem of student-athlete superiority, will be named in their honor.

Paul Bryant and Allen Ludden, giants of the gridiron and television studio, respectively. The Bryant-Ludden Trophy, emblem of student-athlete superiority, will be named in their honor.

Special Rules:

All competitions will be televised and broadcast over as many media outlets as possible so as to maximize available revenues.

All funds and rights fees from the tournaments, including revenue from the sale of souvenirs, t-shirts, software packages, etc. will be pooled.

Each time a team in either field wins a match, it will gain a “victory point.” The more victory points an institution receives, the higher its share of the winnings.

After all competitions are complete, and the champions in both sectors determined, the money will be distributed to the schools and to the competing athletes. Fifty percent of each institution’s winnings will go to the school to use as it sees fit. The other fifty percent will be paid directly to the student-athletes.

The members of the in-studio teams must be selected from the playing rosters of the on-field teams. They must be letter-winners in their respective sports, not nonparticipating bench-warmers.

The team captain of the on-field team must be one of the members of the studio team. However, it is not mandated that he or she also be designated as captain of the studio team.

The team that scores the most victory points in a given academic year, and therefore wins the most money, will receive the coveted Bryant-Ludden Trophy, the new emblem of the highest level of student-athlete achievement in America.

Now let’s let the games begin!

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